[ their home π there are also some wood carving supplies and blocks of freshly chopped wood somewhere. he'll have been teaching her how to carve a mini boothill and anything else she wants.
now in something more comfortable, he sets the drinks down on the coffee table and moves to sit himself on her lap, as she likes to do with him. instead of drawing her immediately into kisses, though, he just wraps his arms around her and curls over her. just another long, proper, quiet hug in their home. they both need it. ]
[weeeeeehhhh the wood carving supplies!! she's a good student, she tries very hard.
anyway, she is very, very happy to hug him - he crawls into her lap and she scoops him close, resting her head against his. she's warm as usual, solid. karlach settles and just... holds him, strokes her fingers through his hair, soothingly.]
Yeah. Hopefully. It's the last time for all this trial-ritual shit. [she murmurs.] Are you okay?
Yeah, you're right, not exactly happy that they just let her suffer like that. [she knows it isn't really anybody's fault - she figures the living thought they had more time. but it doesn't change the fact that they had to watch a fifteen year old die.]
She'll be here tomorrow, and we can help then. That's the silver lining, right? We've got the chance.
[she tries... right now she does not feel like that great of a person, with how angry she got about things earlier, but she's working on it. the kiss to her temple gets a brief smile, and she shifts them both to lay back a bit, mostly aiming to spoil him with contact. petting his hair, bringing her hand down to take one of his and lacing their fingers.]
She told me she wasn't allowed to take a break because leaders don't do that. [sigh.] I love that kid, soldier, if she didn't already have parents I'd be taking her in. There was never a time I wasn't going to worry.
Figure you're like that too, with the babies here.
[ anger doesn't make you a bad person, at least in boothill's eyes. anger means you have things that you care about. he was ready to smash and tear things apart until his hands were nothing but stubs of broken, sparking wire. it fizzled out only when she held him.
he lies back with her, quietly adoring her smile and her fingers and the bruises tucked beneath the collar of her jacket. he lifts their twined hands and kisses over her fingers. ]
Called herself a leader, huh? [ he smiles a little too. ] Yeah. That's how I feel with all of 'em.
[ even ones he doesn't know as well as the others—they don't deserve to be suffering in a place like this. his smile fades. ]
It would've been better if it was quick. Should've done it all sooner, or made sure somehow on Wednesday, I don't know. I know there ain't nothin' that can be done now, but...
[she got the worst of it out earlier, furious in the dojo, but - by the time she made it back to him, she was out of rage. right now, it's about as fizzled out as his. rage tires you out, wrings you dry.]
They probably thought they had more time. Maybe they wanted to do it the way I went. Maybe none of them thought about it, and just thought she'd be fine, and maybe I'm a bit furious they failed her that way, but - you're right. Nothing can be done about it.
[she flexes her fingers, tracing his bottom lip absently when he kisses her fingertips. and when he leans back, she rests her head against his again.]
I wish I could've saved her sooner. I know you do too. But what I can do now - what we can do, right, is make sure she doesn't wake up alone.
[ cool... boothill just walked around and drank it out with people. sword swinging is much healthier for a person with a working liver.
he closes his eyes and leans back against her head. he squeezes her fingers a little, funneling just some of that frustration into his hold. he just hates all of this. he always hates it, but especially tonight. ]
Yeah. We'll be there when she wakes up. Give her every comfort we got.
[ poor ash.
boothill brushes the hair from karlach's face. he holds her cheek again. ]
Think the answer's obvious, but... I wanna hear it from ya' straight. You want kids someday?
[she remembers him telling her about it, and she tightens her hug for just a moment.]
I agree. [she says, earnestly.] I can't think of anything I'd like to do better than that. Giving kids the childhood I had, making sure they grow up into good people. With you.
So... something to keep. For when the adrenaline runs out.
[she tilts her head to give him access, and then shifts, when he does. presses her face against his hand, nuzzling at it, and then leans forward to kiss him on the lips, just once. like a promise.]
It's a little scary. [she says, quietly. soft, just for him.] Having something to lose. But I don't think about it that way, as much. I don't want to borrow the... you know, the potential sadness from the future.
You're something gained, to me. Someone gained. Loving you makes life feel so much fuller. And if I lost you I'd be devastated, but sweetheart, I have you now. You have me now.
[ she is so precious. he savors that kiss as long as it lasts. both of his hands come to her cheeks. he brushes their noses and kisses her again. it lasts longer than usual and with a lot more longing, almost like a goodbye kiss. when it ends, he murmurs: ]
You go meltin' my heart every day. You know that? Don't know how I would take it if I lost you like I did everything else.
[ but if he lost her any other way... it reminds him of being in the graveyard without her, all at once aching and finding comfort in her being happy, dancing and humming and being full of love and life. as long as she was somewhere safe and sound and content, he could live with the separation. she would deserve it. ]
You're right, though. We're both here now, and I'm gonna protect you with everything I've got.
[it almost feels like a goodbye kiss, and it does scare her just a little, but she smothers that immediately. hides it away, and pulls him into another hug. slides her hand up to rest against the back of his head, fingers in his hair.]
I know I can't promise, but you won't.
[lose her. she doesn't want to do that to him - not after he's spent so long having nothing.]
I'm going to protect you, too. And I feel - gods, I feel fucking safe with you at my back. [...] I'm sorry everything has hurt you as badly as it has.
[ he would counter: is it worth it to only stay with a man for his sake and not her own? hasn't she also spent so long having nothing for herself? isn't this the time for her to live freely, doing just as she pleases whenever she would like?
boothill would be all right as long as she's happy. right now, though, it seems like she would be happiest with him, and he will choose to believe that. he holds her back, lets himself sink into her hug and the comfort of her fingers in his hair. ]
It's all right. I ain't the only one who's been hurtin' over all of this.
[ he leans back again and kisses her softly. ]
I wanna give you back what you give me, 'cause you deserve it. Tell me what's on your mind.
[if he thinks she's staying with him for only his sake she's going to noogie him until his hat turns into dust,]
Sure, you're not the only one, but you've gotten on me for saying the same thing. [she ribs him gently, voice soft.] I'm okay. Today was rough, but mostly I'm in good shape. I worry you keep putting yourself out of the way to look after me, to make sure I'm happy, and that's very sweet. I love you for it, but we're partners.
[she presses a kiss to his forehead, to the bridge of his nose, to his lips.]
I'm not asking because I want it. I'm asking because I want to know where you stand. I don't want to be... I just like that you're just mine, but I never really asked!
[ ah. his lips spread into a toothy grin, and he presses a hard kiss against her cheek. ]
Darlin', I've been all over dozens of star systems in the cosmos. Not one of 'em had someone who wrapped me 'round their lil' finger the way you did, and I doubt there'll ever be another one of you out there.
[ he takes her hand and gives it a big smooch. ]
I'm all yours, Miss Karlach. I ain't got a single thought of anyone but you.
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now in something more comfortable, he sets the drinks down on the coffee table and moves to sit himself on her lap, as she likes to do with him. instead of drawing her immediately into kisses, though, he just wraps his arms around her and curls over her. just another long, proper, quiet hug in their home. they both need it. ]
Tomorrow. Hopefully that's the last time.
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anyway, she is very, very happy to hug him - he crawls into her lap and she scoops him close, resting her head against his. she's warm as usual, solid. karlach settles and just... holds him, strokes her fingers through his hair, soothingly.]
Yeah. Hopefully. It's the last time for all this trial-ritual shit. [she murmurs.] Are you okay?
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he kisses her neck. ]
... I'm sure you hated seeing what we did today just as much as I did. Wish there was somethin' else we could do for those young ones.
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Yeah, you're right, not exactly happy that they just let her suffer like that. [she knows it isn't really anybody's fault - she figures the living thought they had more time. but it doesn't change the fact that they had to watch a fifteen year old die.]
She'll be here tomorrow, and we can help then. That's the silver lining, right? We've got the chance.
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[ he smooths the hair from the side of her head and kisses her temple. she's so good. karlach is such a good person, and he's lucky to have her. ]
I talked with her, Wednesday. She kept tellin' me that she wanted everyone else to stop worryin' about her.
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She told me she wasn't allowed to take a break because leaders don't do that. [sigh.] I love that kid, soldier, if she didn't already have parents I'd be taking her in. There was never a time I wasn't going to worry.
Figure you're like that too, with the babies here.
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he lies back with her, quietly adoring her smile and her fingers and the bruises tucked beneath the collar of her jacket. he lifts their twined hands and kisses over her fingers. ]
Called herself a leader, huh? [ he smiles a little too. ] Yeah. That's how I feel with all of 'em.
[ even ones he doesn't know as well as the others—they don't deserve to be suffering in a place like this. his smile fades. ]
It would've been better if it was quick. Should've done it all sooner, or made sure somehow on Wednesday, I don't know. I know there ain't nothin' that can be done now, but...
[ he leans back, runs his eyes, exhales. ]
No one should go through that, least of all her.
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They probably thought they had more time. Maybe they wanted to do it the way I went. Maybe none of them thought about it, and just thought she'd be fine, and maybe I'm a bit furious they failed her that way, but - you're right. Nothing can be done about it.
[she flexes her fingers, tracing his bottom lip absently when he kisses her fingertips. and when he leans back, she rests her head against his again.]
I wish I could've saved her sooner. I know you do too. But what I can do now - what we can do, right, is make sure she doesn't wake up alone.
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he closes his eyes and leans back against her head. he squeezes her fingers a little, funneling just some of that frustration into his hold. he just hates all of this. he always hates it, but especially tonight. ]
Yeah. We'll be there when she wakes up. Give her every comfort we got.
[ poor ash.
boothill brushes the hair from karlach's face. he holds her cheek again. ]
Think the answer's obvious, but... I wanna hear it from ya' straight. You want kids someday?
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Never thought it was in the cards for me, never thought it was going to be the plan. But... yeah, I could see it. I'd like that, however it happened.
[she runs her fingers up and down his arm, comforting.]
What about you?
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[ it hurts to think about, obviously. but still. ]
Just somethin' to keep in our back pocket, maybe when we can't adventure no more. The whole cosmos could use more places like that, I think.
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I agree. [she says, earnestly.] I can't think of anything I'd like to do better than that. Giving kids the childhood I had, making sure they grow up into good people. With you.
So... something to keep. For when the adrenaline runs out.
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... Havin' kids means bein' prepared to lose 'em any time.
[ he leans back and carefully studies her face, as if trying to memorize it. his thumb brushes over her cheek. ]
Same thing with bein' in love, I guess. Before you, I lived thinkin' I ain't gonna have nothin' left to lose. Just got reminded of that, is all.
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It's a little scary. [she says, quietly. soft, just for him.] Having something to lose. But I don't think about it that way, as much. I don't want to borrow the... you know, the potential sadness from the future.
You're something gained, to me. Someone gained. Loving you makes life feel so much fuller. And if I lost you I'd be devastated, but sweetheart, I have you now. You have me now.
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You go meltin' my heart every day. You know that? Don't know how I would take it if I lost you like I did everything else.
[ but if he lost her any other way... it reminds him of being in the graveyard without her, all at once aching and finding comfort in her being happy, dancing and humming and being full of love and life. as long as she was somewhere safe and sound and content, he could live with the separation. she would deserve it. ]
You're right, though. We're both here now, and I'm gonna protect you with everything I've got.
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I know I can't promise, but you won't.
[lose her. she doesn't want to do that to him - not after he's spent so long having nothing.]
I'm going to protect you, too. And I feel - gods, I feel fucking safe with you at my back. [...] I'm sorry everything has hurt you as badly as it has.
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boothill would be all right as long as she's happy. right now, though, it seems like she would be happiest with him, and he will choose to believe that. he holds her back, lets himself sink into her hug and the comfort of her fingers in his hair. ]
It's all right. I ain't the only one who's been hurtin' over all of this.
[ he leans back again and kisses her softly. ]
I wanna give you back what you give me, 'cause you deserve it. Tell me what's on your mind.
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Sure, you're not the only one, but you've gotten on me for saying the same thing. [she ribs him gently, voice soft.] I'm okay. Today was rough, but mostly I'm in good shape. I worry you keep putting yourself out of the way to look after me, to make sure I'm happy, and that's very sweet. I love you for it, but we're partners.
[she presses a kiss to his forehead, to the bridge of his nose, to his lips.]
Right?
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that gets him to smile. he presses another kiss, still half-smiling, on her lips. ]
Partners 'n soldiers. Just know, I ain't puttin' anything on myself, lookin' after you. Feels as natural as anythin'.
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Mm. [she hums, twirling his hair in her fingers again.]
... Can I ask you something? About all that.
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[tries to think about how to phrase it, with a little huff.]
Do you want to just be us? You're not an open to other people in our relationship sort of person? [nervously.]
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Where's this comin' from?
[ borrows my reaction. have you got someone karlach?? ]
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I'm not asking because I want it. I'm asking because I want to know where you stand. I don't want to be... I just like that you're just mine, but I never really asked!
[embarrassed!!!!]
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Darlin', I've been all over dozens of star systems in the cosmos. Not one of 'em had someone who wrapped me 'round their lil' finger the way you did, and I doubt there'll ever be another one of you out there.
[ he takes her hand and gives it a big smooch. ]
I'm all yours, Miss Karlach. I ain't got a single thought of anyone but you.
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