[she tries... right now she does not feel like that great of a person, with how angry she got about things earlier, but she's working on it. the kiss to her temple gets a brief smile, and she shifts them both to lay back a bit, mostly aiming to spoil him with contact. petting his hair, bringing her hand down to take one of his and lacing their fingers.]
She told me she wasn't allowed to take a break because leaders don't do that. [sigh.] I love that kid, soldier, if she didn't already have parents I'd be taking her in. There was never a time I wasn't going to worry.
Figure you're like that too, with the babies here.
[ anger doesn't make you a bad person, at least in boothill's eyes. anger means you have things that you care about. he was ready to smash and tear things apart until his hands were nothing but stubs of broken, sparking wire. it fizzled out only when she held him.
he lies back with her, quietly adoring her smile and her fingers and the bruises tucked beneath the collar of her jacket. he lifts their twined hands and kisses over her fingers. ]
Called herself a leader, huh? [ he smiles a little too. ] Yeah. That's how I feel with all of 'em.
[ even ones he doesn't know as well as the others—they don't deserve to be suffering in a place like this. his smile fades. ]
It would've been better if it was quick. Should've done it all sooner, or made sure somehow on Wednesday, I don't know. I know there ain't nothin' that can be done now, but...
[she got the worst of it out earlier, furious in the dojo, but - by the time she made it back to him, she was out of rage. right now, it's about as fizzled out as his. rage tires you out, wrings you dry.]
They probably thought they had more time. Maybe they wanted to do it the way I went. Maybe none of them thought about it, and just thought she'd be fine, and maybe I'm a bit furious they failed her that way, but - you're right. Nothing can be done about it.
[she flexes her fingers, tracing his bottom lip absently when he kisses her fingertips. and when he leans back, she rests her head against his again.]
I wish I could've saved her sooner. I know you do too. But what I can do now - what we can do, right, is make sure she doesn't wake up alone.
[ cool... boothill just walked around and drank it out with people. sword swinging is much healthier for a person with a working liver.
he closes his eyes and leans back against her head. he squeezes her fingers a little, funneling just some of that frustration into his hold. he just hates all of this. he always hates it, but especially tonight. ]
Yeah. We'll be there when she wakes up. Give her every comfort we got.
[ poor ash.
boothill brushes the hair from karlach's face. he holds her cheek again. ]
Think the answer's obvious, but... I wanna hear it from ya' straight. You want kids someday?
[she remembers him telling her about it, and she tightens her hug for just a moment.]
I agree. [she says, earnestly.] I can't think of anything I'd like to do better than that. Giving kids the childhood I had, making sure they grow up into good people. With you.
So... something to keep. For when the adrenaline runs out.
[she tilts her head to give him access, and then shifts, when he does. presses her face against his hand, nuzzling at it, and then leans forward to kiss him on the lips, just once. like a promise.]
It's a little scary. [she says, quietly. soft, just for him.] Having something to lose. But I don't think about it that way, as much. I don't want to borrow the... you know, the potential sadness from the future.
You're something gained, to me. Someone gained. Loving you makes life feel so much fuller. And if I lost you I'd be devastated, but sweetheart, I have you now. You have me now.
[ she is so precious. he savors that kiss as long as it lasts. both of his hands come to her cheeks. he brushes their noses and kisses her again. it lasts longer than usual and with a lot more longing, almost like a goodbye kiss. when it ends, he murmurs: ]
You go meltin' my heart every day. You know that? Don't know how I would take it if I lost you like I did everything else.
[ but if he lost her any other way... it reminds him of being in the graveyard without her, all at once aching and finding comfort in her being happy, dancing and humming and being full of love and life. as long as she was somewhere safe and sound and content, he could live with the separation. she would deserve it. ]
You're right, though. We're both here now, and I'm gonna protect you with everything I've got.
[it almost feels like a goodbye kiss, and it does scare her just a little, but she smothers that immediately. hides it away, and pulls him into another hug. slides her hand up to rest against the back of his head, fingers in his hair.]
I know I can't promise, but you won't.
[lose her. she doesn't want to do that to him - not after he's spent so long having nothing.]
I'm going to protect you, too. And I feel - gods, I feel fucking safe with you at my back. [...] I'm sorry everything has hurt you as badly as it has.
[ he would counter: is it worth it to only stay with a man for his sake and not her own? hasn't she also spent so long having nothing for herself? isn't this the time for her to live freely, doing just as she pleases whenever she would like?
boothill would be all right as long as she's happy. right now, though, it seems like she would be happiest with him, and he will choose to believe that. he holds her back, lets himself sink into her hug and the comfort of her fingers in his hair. ]
It's all right. I ain't the only one who's been hurtin' over all of this.
[ he leans back again and kisses her softly. ]
I wanna give you back what you give me, 'cause you deserve it. Tell me what's on your mind.
[if he thinks she's staying with him for only his sake she's going to noogie him until his hat turns into dust,]
Sure, you're not the only one, but you've gotten on me for saying the same thing. [she ribs him gently, voice soft.] I'm okay. Today was rough, but mostly I'm in good shape. I worry you keep putting yourself out of the way to look after me, to make sure I'm happy, and that's very sweet. I love you for it, but we're partners.
[she presses a kiss to his forehead, to the bridge of his nose, to his lips.]
I'm not asking because I want it. I'm asking because I want to know where you stand. I don't want to be... I just like that you're just mine, but I never really asked!
[ ah. his lips spread into a toothy grin, and he presses a hard kiss against her cheek. ]
Darlin', I've been all over dozens of star systems in the cosmos. Not one of 'em had someone who wrapped me 'round their lil' finger the way you did, and I doubt there'll ever be another one of you out there.
[ he takes her hand and gives it a big smooch. ]
I'm all yours, Miss Karlach. I ain't got a single thought of anyone but you.
[oh, he can absolutely feel the relief in that. she sighs, her tail doing little flicky motions as she curls up closer, burying her face against his neck.]
All right. Good. [and her tail wraps around his leg instead, in that same possessive sort of way.] Because I don't want to share.
[a beat.]
You've got my body, heart, and soul, Boots. I'm all yours too.
[ he's happy to gather her up in him, for once trying to encompass her completely in his hold. he imagines, again, being wrapped in warm skin, holding her against the bones of his ribcage, feeling the thrum of his pulse in his neck where she presses her lips. there's palpable relief when she says those words, a rush of adrenaline when her tail slides around his leg.
his hand slides into her hair, the other still looped around her back. he turns his head and kisses the side of her neck. ]
Good. 'Cause I don't wanna share you neither.
[ he kisses her neck again, opens his mouth, and bites down. ]
[she is not expecting the bite so it makes her jump - but she immediately laughs after, and tugs his hair as punishment. she wishes, not for the first time, that she could pinch him playfully or tickle him or - anything like that, the way he does her. the fireplace burns a little more brightly next to them.]
You're like a teething puppy! [she jokes, not even bothering to stop him.] I look like I've dunked my torso in the leech pond.
[cheerfully. she likes this! clearly she is Proud of the marks.]
[ the fire burning brighter... boothill glances over his shoulder and grins at it. the flames burn a little brighter, crackling gently. those clouds outside are beginning to drift. she is so cute. ]
Just a teething puppy, huh? Maybe I should bite ya' a little harder next time.
[ he laughs, steals one more kiss, and then starts climbing off of her. ]
Ain't like you're tellin' me to stop any. Come on. Think I might actually be tapped out on drinks for the night.
[waggles her eyebrows at him, but it's playful. she's in a better mood, with the way the room warms.
she also complains when he climbs off, but it's just whining to whine.]
Don't stop doing it, I like it. [she informs him from where she's sprawled on the couch still. a beat, and then she offers her hands out to him so he can pull her up.]
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She told me she wasn't allowed to take a break because leaders don't do that. [sigh.] I love that kid, soldier, if she didn't already have parents I'd be taking her in. There was never a time I wasn't going to worry.
Figure you're like that too, with the babies here.
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he lies back with her, quietly adoring her smile and her fingers and the bruises tucked beneath the collar of her jacket. he lifts their twined hands and kisses over her fingers. ]
Called herself a leader, huh? [ he smiles a little too. ] Yeah. That's how I feel with all of 'em.
[ even ones he doesn't know as well as the others—they don't deserve to be suffering in a place like this. his smile fades. ]
It would've been better if it was quick. Should've done it all sooner, or made sure somehow on Wednesday, I don't know. I know there ain't nothin' that can be done now, but...
[ he leans back, runs his eyes, exhales. ]
No one should go through that, least of all her.
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They probably thought they had more time. Maybe they wanted to do it the way I went. Maybe none of them thought about it, and just thought she'd be fine, and maybe I'm a bit furious they failed her that way, but - you're right. Nothing can be done about it.
[she flexes her fingers, tracing his bottom lip absently when he kisses her fingertips. and when he leans back, she rests her head against his again.]
I wish I could've saved her sooner. I know you do too. But what I can do now - what we can do, right, is make sure she doesn't wake up alone.
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he closes his eyes and leans back against her head. he squeezes her fingers a little, funneling just some of that frustration into his hold. he just hates all of this. he always hates it, but especially tonight. ]
Yeah. We'll be there when she wakes up. Give her every comfort we got.
[ poor ash.
boothill brushes the hair from karlach's face. he holds her cheek again. ]
Think the answer's obvious, but... I wanna hear it from ya' straight. You want kids someday?
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Never thought it was in the cards for me, never thought it was going to be the plan. But... yeah, I could see it. I'd like that, however it happened.
[she runs her fingers up and down his arm, comforting.]
What about you?
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[ it hurts to think about, obviously. but still. ]
Just somethin' to keep in our back pocket, maybe when we can't adventure no more. The whole cosmos could use more places like that, I think.
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I agree. [she says, earnestly.] I can't think of anything I'd like to do better than that. Giving kids the childhood I had, making sure they grow up into good people. With you.
So... something to keep. For when the adrenaline runs out.
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... Havin' kids means bein' prepared to lose 'em any time.
[ he leans back and carefully studies her face, as if trying to memorize it. his thumb brushes over her cheek. ]
Same thing with bein' in love, I guess. Before you, I lived thinkin' I ain't gonna have nothin' left to lose. Just got reminded of that, is all.
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It's a little scary. [she says, quietly. soft, just for him.] Having something to lose. But I don't think about it that way, as much. I don't want to borrow the... you know, the potential sadness from the future.
You're something gained, to me. Someone gained. Loving you makes life feel so much fuller. And if I lost you I'd be devastated, but sweetheart, I have you now. You have me now.
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You go meltin' my heart every day. You know that? Don't know how I would take it if I lost you like I did everything else.
[ but if he lost her any other way... it reminds him of being in the graveyard without her, all at once aching and finding comfort in her being happy, dancing and humming and being full of love and life. as long as she was somewhere safe and sound and content, he could live with the separation. she would deserve it. ]
You're right, though. We're both here now, and I'm gonna protect you with everything I've got.
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I know I can't promise, but you won't.
[lose her. she doesn't want to do that to him - not after he's spent so long having nothing.]
I'm going to protect you, too. And I feel - gods, I feel fucking safe with you at my back. [...] I'm sorry everything has hurt you as badly as it has.
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boothill would be all right as long as she's happy. right now, though, it seems like she would be happiest with him, and he will choose to believe that. he holds her back, lets himself sink into her hug and the comfort of her fingers in his hair. ]
It's all right. I ain't the only one who's been hurtin' over all of this.
[ he leans back again and kisses her softly. ]
I wanna give you back what you give me, 'cause you deserve it. Tell me what's on your mind.
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Sure, you're not the only one, but you've gotten on me for saying the same thing. [she ribs him gently, voice soft.] I'm okay. Today was rough, but mostly I'm in good shape. I worry you keep putting yourself out of the way to look after me, to make sure I'm happy, and that's very sweet. I love you for it, but we're partners.
[she presses a kiss to his forehead, to the bridge of his nose, to his lips.]
Right?
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that gets him to smile. he presses another kiss, still half-smiling, on her lips. ]
Partners 'n soldiers. Just know, I ain't puttin' anything on myself, lookin' after you. Feels as natural as anythin'.
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Mm. [she hums, twirling his hair in her fingers again.]
... Can I ask you something? About all that.
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[tries to think about how to phrase it, with a little huff.]
Do you want to just be us? You're not an open to other people in our relationship sort of person? [nervously.]
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Where's this comin' from?
[ borrows my reaction. have you got someone karlach?? ]
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I'm not asking because I want it. I'm asking because I want to know where you stand. I don't want to be... I just like that you're just mine, but I never really asked!
[embarrassed!!!!]
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Darlin', I've been all over dozens of star systems in the cosmos. Not one of 'em had someone who wrapped me 'round their lil' finger the way you did, and I doubt there'll ever be another one of you out there.
[ he takes her hand and gives it a big smooch. ]
I'm all yours, Miss Karlach. I ain't got a single thought of anyone but you.
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All right. Good. [and her tail wraps around his leg instead, in that same possessive sort of way.] Because I don't want to share.
[a beat.]
You've got my body, heart, and soul, Boots. I'm all yours too.
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his hand slides into her hair, the other still looped around her back. he turns his head and kisses the side of her neck. ]
Good. 'Cause I don't wanna share you neither.
[ he kisses her neck again, opens his mouth, and bites down. ]
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You're like a teething puppy! [she jokes, not even bothering to stop him.] I look like I've dunked my torso in the leech pond.
[cheerfully. she likes this! clearly she is Proud of the marks.]
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Just a teething puppy, huh? Maybe I should bite ya' a little harder next time.
[ he laughs, steals one more kiss, and then starts climbing off of her. ]
Ain't like you're tellin' me to stop any. Come on. Think I might actually be tapped out on drinks for the night.
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she also complains when he climbs off, but it's just whining to whine.]
Don't stop doing it, I like it. [she informs him from where she's sprawled on the couch still. a beat, and then she offers her hands out to him so he can pull her up.]
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