[there's something about the closeness she feels from the skin to skin contact. it's there when he's metal, too, but it feels so much more personal when she knows he can feel it too. the arch into her hands makes her heart do a flip in her chest. what an addictive feeling that is, she thinks.
he kisses along her cheek, and she tilts her head to let him, thinks he can probably feel her pulse going about as fast as his.]
Nope. [she jokes right back. there's a flutter of something very content at the way that he traces over her shoulder and arm - being touched just for the sake of it feels like, to her, sinking into a warm bath.] So you had better tell me what you like, or you'll be stuck with it for the rest of forever.
[ these icons are killing me she is sooooooo precious
the word forever lands like a flame in his chest. everything that's happened to him up until this point has been a reminder of transience—how everything can change in one instant, from one action, by a single string of words. forever was a daydream, something a person would convince themselves of for comfort.
part of him still believes that, in truth. another part of him thinks about penacony—those who indulged too deeply in the sweet dream. and still another part thinks about the chance of a forever with this perfect woman.
let him dream for a while. he can wake himself when he needs to. he's radiating happiness. ]
The rest of forever, huh...? I like the sound of that.
[ he grins and presses their foreheads together, noses tapping. ]
I picked yours out without tellin' ya'. Think it's only fair you do the same, and I ain't hard to please besides. You bend me a piece of stiff wire and I'd wear that like a diamond ring.
[i can't stop using them i loooove this artist so bad
forever was a daydream for her, too - she hit the ground running outside of baldur's gate and didn't look back, but she knew she had a time limit. coming here means she doesn't, anymore. sure, there's the tadpole to handle, but it's hard not to feel fucking invincible, now that her body belongs to her and her alone. she won't have to do everything she can to save a city she won't even get to enjoy again, she won't be constantly in pain, she won't have to look over her shoulder for a devil that wants to drag her down. what a relief.
what he says makes her laugh, and she tilts her head up to steal a kiss. or, well. it's more just brushing her lips against his because she can, because it makes her feel alive to do so. she can't stop smiling.]
Isn't it mad? Thinking of forever? [but she likes the sound of it too.]
You're worth way, way more than a bent piece of wire, soldier. [warm, almost syrupy, the way she says it. she smooths her hands over his arms, down his back, tracing patterns into his skin.] I'll find something. Gods, you make me so fucking giddy - sorry, I'm having a hard time keeping my hands off you like this.
What's with the apology? I never told ya' to stop.
[ he grins. he untangles himself from her and wraps his arms back beneath hers. he presses himself flush to her, chest to chest, chin tucked over her shoulder.
he takes in her beating heart, her warm skin, how he can feel her press into his flesh with nothing between them. he sighs and closes his eyes, planting soft kisses over bite marks and bruises.
sorry to ruin this moment, but she's getting a memshare. ]
[she squirms just enough to make sure that she's all curled up against him, skin to skin. she drags her hands up and down his back, under his borrowed shirt, breathing him in. holds him tight, because it might be the last time they get like this for a while.
and then the memory comes, and it leaves her - well, it leaves her feeling a little cold. it's so very different from her own surgery memories, but she's unclear on whether or not that's a good thing.
she shivers, pressing her face against the side of his head, against his hair.]
... That's the woman who did that to you, then. [even if he asked... still.]
[ her warm breath over his skin, pluming over his neck, into his hair, makes him shiver too. it brings him back into reality, remembering how he has skin, how he's briefly back to being who he was when he first stormed the operating room and flashed his gun at the doctor.
he never regretted his choice. in a way, he still doesn't. if there was a way to somehow toggle between these bodies, he would want it—but he knows it could never be that simple.
he has to choose. and now, he knows he wants this, sharing a life like this with karlach, is what he wants more than anything. home. ]
...That's her all right.
[ he mutters softly, unwinding an arm to run his fingers through karlach's hair. ]
She tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't hear it, a'course. I thought there was never gonna be anything else left for me out there. No attachments to nothin'. Then li'l ole you showed up like a hurricane 'n blew that all away.
[she pulls the blankets closer to them, wrapping them up. breathes in the ocean air, fresh and clean.]
Couldn't have predicted being yanked into a two month murder village, really. [she says, lightly, pressing a kiss to the shell of his ear, to right underneath his earlobe, at his neck.] I don't blame you for thinking it. You had... everything taken from you, I can't imagine how fucking hopeless that must've felt.
[it doesn't have to be hopeless now. nothing will ever replace what he lost, and she would never want to replace it. but he does have a home, with her. that will never be in question.]
... You still remember the name you had before?
[i imagine hoyo isn't nice enough to have a real canon name for him but there's no way she wouldn't mention it]
I wouldn't wanna use it anyway. Can't never go back to who I was, even when I'm flesh 'n bone again.
[ he leans back and looks between her golden, shining eyes. then he slowly smiles, sliding his hand to slip his thumb over her cheek. ]
Let me think on whether I want a new name after all this is over, yeah? Could be I'm fine with bein' Boothill from now on. If I change my name, I'll have ya' help me out with pickin' a new one.
Fair enough. Fresh start. [she murmurs, bringing her hand up to tangle with his.] And always growing.
It's your name - you want to be Boothill, that's what you'll be. If you want something else, that's good too. Love you all the same.
[this is such a sweet conversation but i'm also going to ruin the vibes with her own impromptu surgery memshare. yay, tradesies... sorry for how gory this one is.]
this is especially sad because he gets so, so happy and warm over what she says. love you all the same—unconditional acceptance for who and what he is and will become. ]
Love you too. [ he murmurs softly, with the warmest smile and softest gaze. he's seconds from stealing a long string of kisses from her mouth when he's pulled into those memories.
and now that i've read it, sorry, whenever they get out of those memories, boothill is going to be leaning back and grasping at her arms, his single visible eye wide, his face blanched. his stomach lurches with nausea—from the food, the drinks, the sex. he manages to keep it down.
it takes a moment for him to realize again that what he'd seen hadn't been his own memory—it hadn't been him struggling on that table, watching his body be ripped open and his own beating heart put on display. it was karlach again, tortured horrendously. boothill changed himself, but that was his own decision to make. karlach was changed because someone else wanted her to.
he knew this already. still, his human heart is rabbiting, pounding against his ribcage hard enough to ache. he looks over karlach's face, convincing himself again that every detail of her is real. he reaches out and holds her cheek. ]
[it's - well, not a fun memory is an understatement. she hasn't seen this one as many times as she's seen the others, and for that she's glad, at least. still. it's not a memory she wants to have. and it's especially not a memory she wants him to have experienced or seen at all.
when he pulls back, she exhales sharply, and carefully brings her hands up to his, holding him. more than anything she's just shocked. the expression on his face is such a complete heelturn from what he looked like just a couple seconds ago, and that, out of everything, breaks her heart. not the memory, not the reminder of pain, just. having to give him this.]
[ boothill almost doesn't hear her at all. his blood is beating too fast in his ears, trying to tamp down the panic and horror of the last few moments that felt ages long. there was so much blood and gore, so many manic and terrible shrieks of laughter while being mangled. it was horrific, and karlach lived through that. his transformation was like drifting into an ocean; hers was a bloody war that she was inevitably made to lose.
and she still cares about him in this moment. he takes her face in both hands and tilts his head to kiss her deeply, hard enough to ache against their kiss-bitten lips. one hand falls as he leads them to a second kiss, sliding around her back to pull her flush against them. he murmurs, mouth brushing against hers: ]
Oh, don't you dare.
[ another fervent kiss, like it would somehow siphon all of that pain into him. he winds his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in, tucking his face into her neck. his voice is tight. ]
[the kiss surprises her! not in a bad way, it just startles her out of the worst of it, makes her breath catch. after a moment, though, she curls close, sliding her hand up his back and against his neck, resting at the base of his skull. the ache and the reminder of pressure against her lips sits with her, makes her feel grounded.]
I... all right.
[she says a little weakly, her free arm wrapping around his waist. this is better. this is softer, the beach and the sand, the blankets, flesh and blood and bruises and scratches from earlier, from sharing her body with him, something intimate and safe and loving. she is not in the hells, and he is not in a cold, horrible lab. they're here, together, with plans and a future to look forward to. that helps.]
I'm fine, now. [she says, after a moment, voice rough.] I won my heart back. All of that is past, now.
It is. That don't mean it didn't hurt like a motherfucker when it happened.
[ his voice is still tight too. he slides his fingers through her hair and holds her tightly, fingertips curling. he has to be angry about this for a little. ]
I know what we said. I know we ain't gonna get anythin' from it, but... Zariel had better count her fucking blessin's while I'm not down there in the Hells. I'd kill that bitch with my bare hands. I'd tear her goddamn throat out so she couldn't scream.
[she lets him be angry - she knows what that's like, to feel it rising up. she'd be furious too. she still is, sometimes, that it ever happened.
but she finds it hard to right this instant, because he's so angry for her that it almost makes her feel sort of good. loved, maybe, that he cares as much as he does. she knew that he did, but like always, it's something else to feel it, to hear it. and the threat of violence specifically makes her tail flick in approval, too.
just because she doesn't like hurting innocent people doesn't mean she's above a little ripping the throats out objectively evil creatures.]
I believe you. [she murmurs, with a brief shiver of something heated. she can't help it... sometimes it's very hot for your partner to be like i'd rip someone to shreds for you.] I'd let you at her if I thought it'd be worth the risk.
Thank you. [genuinely.] Fuck her. Fuck everything she did.
[ that's something that the two of them agreed on from the moment they met: go in guns and axes blazing against evil, tearing off heads and ripping through blood and bone. never bully the weak and never hurt the innocent. use violence against violence when you must.
tearing into zariel and forcing her into years of brutal agony is divine retribution. it's less than she deserves. if there was some way for boothill to become the arbiter of zariel's suffering, he'd have done it in an instant. he already wanted to before and now that desire twists in him even more tightly, though he knows he'll never follow through on it. there's too much life for them both to live outside of the hells. he never wants to karlach to return there at all, if he can help it.
so he can only wrap himself around her, hold her tightly, and let her feel his boiling rage and heartache for her. she's alive now, heart beating, her body scarred and gorgeous. she lives in every moment with so much fervor. she has such a vigor for life. she could've been lost at any moment and anyone would have understood why, but she stayed alive somehow anyway, long enough for boothill to meet and fall head over heels for her.
there's heat, he feels it, and it makes him ache for her more, like he can't be close enough. (it's hot when your partner thinks violence is hot. they're so stupid.) ]
Fuck her. I'd break every fuckin' bone in her fucked up demon ass body, down to her last little fuckin' finger.
[ he tries to inject some levity, but he still means every word. he keeps replaying the memory, the most gruesome bits of them leaping into consciousness. he draws back from her, holding her cheek again, and finally she will see the red outline of his visible, angry eye. his eyes stung with tears, but he didn't cry, necessarily. he's just so fucking angry.
he holds her cheek and presses their foreheads together, letting his eyelids fall closed. ]
I won't ever let ya' be hurt like that again, not as long as I live. I'd send any motherfucker to their maker before they even try.
[as a parallel - this is how she feels about the man that destroyed boothill's home. the one that gave the order is, to her, as horrible as zariel. someone who would never get their own hands dirty, but would profit off it all the same.
it's been so good, to see the life in him. karlach thinks about what he's told her, a lot - about how he had nothing to lose, how he'd traded in his flesh for metal just for the chance to get vengeance. how distant he must've been. but here, she's seen him smile, and laugh, she's seen him flustered, she's seen him heated and hazy and pleasured. karlach has seen the humanity in him, and that's what she wants for him to experience for the rest of the time she has with him.
she'd like to rip the spine out of the man that took it from him the first time with her bare hands.
boothill presses their foreheads together, and she leans to meet him, bringing a hand up to stroke at his cheek, tracing her thumb lightly under his eye. her breath is a little quicker. just a little, listening to him promise her this. for her, this is probably the most romantic thing he could say.]
I'd like to see you do it. [she says, with her own bit of levity.] You'd tear down the Hells in an instant.
[a beat, and she leans to kiss him, brief.]
I love you. More than anything. And thank you for being so angry for me. The way you care about me is - it's fucking novel. I can't get enough of it.
[ boothill leans in to kiss her again—longer, more deeply, with a sharp breath in. he's still flesh and blood, somehow. he can still feel her beating heart against his flesh. they're both back to the way they were made, and he doesn't know what moment this will all end again. he kisses her one more time. ]
Let's hope you don't. I ain't ever gonna stop carin' about you as long as I'm alive.
[ another quiet joke with absolute sincerity behind it. the salt in the air permeates their skin, the scent of it caught in karlach's hair, on her clothes. their bundle of limbs beneath their blanket is a small safe haven from the cruelty of their homes, where they came from, who took them away. he could live here for good. ]
I care about you the same way you do for me. I love you too.
[she lives for every time he kisses her, sparks of something needy and warm settling in her chest.
she doesn't know when he's going to revert back, so she soaks this up, takes advantage of every single second. the way her lips feel almost kissed sore, the way his skin is warm against her own, the way she can feel his pulse almost in her own ears. he'll care about her as long as he's alive. it makes her feel like she wants to cry, overwhelmed with the feeling of it. in a good way.
after a moment, she nudges at him. eases him so they can lay out flat on the blankets, on the beach in the sand, and curl up in each other. look at the stars.
they can just do that, until the party ends, somewhere. a safe haven, under the blankets, under the bright and beautiful night sky.]
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no subject
he kisses along her cheek, and she tilts her head to let him, thinks he can probably feel her pulse going about as fast as his.]
Nope. [she jokes right back. there's a flutter of something very content at the way that he traces over her shoulder and arm - being touched just for the sake of it feels like, to her, sinking into a warm bath.] So you had better tell me what you like, or you'll be stuck with it for the rest of forever.
no subject
the word forever lands like a flame in his chest. everything that's happened to him up until this point has been a reminder of transience—how everything can change in one instant, from one action, by a single string of words. forever was a daydream, something a person would convince themselves of for comfort.
part of him still believes that, in truth. another part of him thinks about penacony—those who indulged too deeply in the sweet dream. and still another part thinks about the chance of a forever with this perfect woman.
let him dream for a while. he can wake himself when he needs to. he's radiating happiness. ]
The rest of forever, huh...? I like the sound of that.
[ he grins and presses their foreheads together, noses tapping. ]
I picked yours out without tellin' ya'. Think it's only fair you do the same, and I ain't hard to please besides. You bend me a piece of stiff wire and I'd wear that like a diamond ring.
no subject
forever was a daydream for her, too - she hit the ground running outside of baldur's gate and didn't look back, but she knew she had a time limit. coming here means she doesn't, anymore. sure, there's the tadpole to handle, but it's hard not to feel fucking invincible, now that her body belongs to her and her alone. she won't have to do everything she can to save a city she won't even get to enjoy again, she won't be constantly in pain, she won't have to look over her shoulder for a devil that wants to drag her down. what a relief.
what he says makes her laugh, and she tilts her head up to steal a kiss. or, well. it's more just brushing her lips against his because she can, because it makes her feel alive to do so. she can't stop smiling.]
Isn't it mad? Thinking of forever? [but she likes the sound of it too.]
You're worth way, way more than a bent piece of wire, soldier. [warm, almost syrupy, the way she says it. she smooths her hands over his arms, down his back, tracing patterns into his skin.] I'll find something. Gods, you make me so fucking giddy - sorry, I'm having a hard time keeping my hands off you like this.
no subject
[ he grins. he untangles himself from her and wraps his arms back beneath hers. he presses himself flush to her, chest to chest, chin tucked over her shoulder.
he takes in her beating heart, her warm skin, how he can feel her press into his flesh with nothing between them. he sighs and closes his eyes, planting soft kisses over bite marks and bruises.
sorry to ruin this moment, but she's getting a memshare. ]
no subject
and then the memory comes, and it leaves her - well, it leaves her feeling a little cold. it's so very different from her own surgery memories, but she's unclear on whether or not that's a good thing.
she shivers, pressing her face against the side of his head, against his hair.]
... That's the woman who did that to you, then. [even if he asked... still.]
no subject
he never regretted his choice. in a way, he still doesn't. if there was a way to somehow toggle between these bodies, he would want it—but he knows it could never be that simple.
he has to choose. and now, he knows he wants this, sharing a life like this with karlach, is what he wants more than anything. home. ]
...That's her all right.
[ he mutters softly, unwinding an arm to run his fingers through karlach's hair. ]
She tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't hear it, a'course. I thought there was never gonna be anything else left for me out there. No attachments to nothin'. Then li'l ole you showed up like a hurricane 'n blew that all away.
no subject
Couldn't have predicted being yanked into a two month murder village, really. [she says, lightly, pressing a kiss to the shell of his ear, to right underneath his earlobe, at his neck.] I don't blame you for thinking it. You had... everything taken from you, I can't imagine how fucking hopeless that must've felt.
[it doesn't have to be hopeless now. nothing will ever replace what he lost, and she would never want to replace it. but he does have a home, with her. that will never be in question.]
... You still remember the name you had before?
[i imagine hoyo isn't nice enough to have a real canon name for him but there's no way she wouldn't mention it]
no subject
I wouldn't wanna use it anyway. Can't never go back to who I was, even when I'm flesh 'n bone again.
[ he leans back and looks between her golden, shining eyes. then he slowly smiles, sliding his hand to slip his thumb over her cheek. ]
Let me think on whether I want a new name after all this is over, yeah? Could be I'm fine with bein' Boothill from now on. If I change my name, I'll have ya' help me out with pickin' a new one.
no subject
Fair enough. Fresh start. [she murmurs, bringing her hand up to tangle with his.] And always growing.
It's your name - you want to be Boothill, that's what you'll be. If you want something else, that's good too. Love you all the same.
[this is such a sweet conversation but i'm also going to ruin the vibes with her own impromptu surgery memshare. yay, tradesies... sorry for how gory this one is.]
no subject
this is especially sad because he gets so, so happy and warm over what she says. love you all the same—unconditional acceptance for who and what he is and will become. ]
Love you too. [ he murmurs softly, with the warmest smile and softest gaze. he's seconds from stealing a long string of kisses from her mouth when he's pulled into those memories.
and now that i've read it, sorry, whenever they get out of those memories, boothill is going to be leaning back and grasping at her arms, his single visible eye wide, his face blanched. his stomach lurches with nausea—from the food, the drinks, the sex. he manages to keep it down.
it takes a moment for him to realize again that what he'd seen hadn't been his own memory—it hadn't been him struggling on that table, watching his body be ripped open and his own beating heart put on display. it was karlach again, tortured horrendously. boothill changed himself, but that was his own decision to make. karlach was changed because someone else wanted her to.
he knew this already. still, his human heart is rabbiting, pounding against his ribcage hard enough to ache. he looks over karlach's face, convincing himself again that every detail of her is real. he reaches out and holds her cheek. ]
Karlach... Fucking hell, I... Not like that...!
no subject
when he pulls back, she exhales sharply, and carefully brings her hands up to his, holding him. more than anything she's just shocked. the expression on his face is such a complete heelturn from what he looked like just a couple seconds ago, and that, out of everything, breaks her heart. not the memory, not the reminder of pain, just. having to give him this.]
-- Fuck.
[is what she says first, wincing. a beat.]
I'm - sorry, gods.
no subject
and she still cares about him in this moment. he takes her face in both hands and tilts his head to kiss her deeply, hard enough to ache against their kiss-bitten lips. one hand falls as he leads them to a second kiss, sliding around her back to pull her flush against them. he murmurs, mouth brushing against hers: ]
Oh, don't you dare.
[ another fervent kiss, like it would somehow siphon all of that pain into him. he winds his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in, tucking his face into her neck. his voice is tight. ]
Don't you dare say sorry to me.
no subject
I... all right.
[she says a little weakly, her free arm wrapping around his waist. this is better. this is softer, the beach and the sand, the blankets, flesh and blood and bruises and scratches from earlier, from sharing her body with him, something intimate and safe and loving. she is not in the hells, and he is not in a cold, horrible lab. they're here, together, with plans and a future to look forward to. that helps.]
I'm fine, now. [she says, after a moment, voice rough.] I won my heart back. All of that is past, now.
no subject
[ his voice is still tight too. he slides his fingers through her hair and holds her tightly, fingertips curling. he has to be angry about this for a little. ]
I know what we said. I know we ain't gonna get anythin' from it, but... Zariel had better count her fucking blessin's while I'm not down there in the Hells. I'd kill that bitch with my bare hands. I'd tear her goddamn throat out so she couldn't scream.
no subject
but she finds it hard to right this instant, because he's so angry for her that it almost makes her feel sort of good. loved, maybe, that he cares as much as he does. she knew that he did, but like always, it's something else to feel it, to hear it. and the threat of violence specifically makes her tail flick in approval, too.
just because she doesn't like hurting innocent people doesn't mean she's above a little ripping the throats out objectively evil creatures.]
I believe you. [she murmurs, with a brief shiver of something heated. she can't help it... sometimes it's very hot for your partner to be like i'd rip someone to shreds for you.] I'd let you at her if I thought it'd be worth the risk.
Thank you. [genuinely.] Fuck her. Fuck everything she did.
no subject
tearing into zariel and forcing her into years of brutal agony is divine retribution. it's less than she deserves. if there was some way for boothill to become the arbiter of zariel's suffering, he'd have done it in an instant. he already wanted to before and now that desire twists in him even more tightly, though he knows he'll never follow through on it. there's too much life for them both to live outside of the hells. he never wants to karlach to return there at all, if he can help it.
so he can only wrap himself around her, hold her tightly, and let her feel his boiling rage and heartache for her. she's alive now, heart beating, her body scarred and gorgeous. she lives in every moment with so much fervor. she has such a vigor for life. she could've been lost at any moment and anyone would have understood why, but she stayed alive somehow anyway, long enough for boothill to meet and fall head over heels for her.
there's heat, he feels it, and it makes him ache for her more, like he can't be close enough. (it's hot when your partner thinks violence is hot. they're so stupid.) ]
Fuck her. I'd break every fuckin' bone in her fucked up demon ass body, down to her last little fuckin' finger.
[ he tries to inject some levity, but he still means every word. he keeps replaying the memory, the most gruesome bits of them leaping into consciousness. he draws back from her, holding her cheek again, and finally she will see the red outline of his visible, angry eye. his eyes stung with tears, but he didn't cry, necessarily. he's just so fucking angry.
he holds her cheek and presses their foreheads together, letting his eyelids fall closed. ]
I won't ever let ya' be hurt like that again, not as long as I live. I'd send any motherfucker to their maker before they even try.
no subject
it's been so good, to see the life in him. karlach thinks about what he's told her, a lot - about how he had nothing to lose, how he'd traded in his flesh for metal just for the chance to get vengeance. how distant he must've been. but here, she's seen him smile, and laugh, she's seen him flustered, she's seen him heated and hazy and pleasured. karlach has seen the humanity in him, and that's what she wants for him to experience for the rest of the time she has with him.
she'd like to rip the spine out of the man that took it from him the first time with her bare hands.
boothill presses their foreheads together, and she leans to meet him, bringing a hand up to stroke at his cheek, tracing her thumb lightly under his eye. her breath is a little quicker. just a little, listening to him promise her this. for her, this is probably the most romantic thing he could say.]
I'd like to see you do it. [she says, with her own bit of levity.] You'd tear down the Hells in an instant.
[a beat, and she leans to kiss him, brief.]
I love you. More than anything. And thank you for being so angry for me. The way you care about me is - it's fucking novel. I can't get enough of it.
no subject
Let's hope you don't. I ain't ever gonna stop carin' about you as long as I'm alive.
[ another quiet joke with absolute sincerity behind it. the salt in the air permeates their skin, the scent of it caught in karlach's hair, on her clothes. their bundle of limbs beneath their blanket is a small safe haven from the cruelty of their homes, where they came from, who took them away. he could live here for good. ]
I care about you the same way you do for me. I love you too.
no subject
she doesn't know when he's going to revert back, so she soaks this up, takes advantage of every single second. the way her lips feel almost kissed sore, the way his skin is warm against her own, the way she can feel his pulse almost in her own ears. he'll care about her as long as he's alive. it makes her feel like she wants to cry, overwhelmed with the feeling of it. in a good way.
after a moment, she nudges at him. eases him so they can lay out flat on the blankets, on the beach in the sand, and curl up in each other. look at the stars.
they can just do that, until the party ends, somewhere. a safe haven, under the blankets, under the bright and beautiful night sky.]