SCAWWY ⇢ KARLACH (FLURRY)

[shirtbag]

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[shirtbag]

[ swoops in like a katamari cousin to help 🥺

more laughing! and then it dissolves into a steady smile. ]

You're a good woman, Miss Karlach. Hope you'n yer boys make it outta here quick as a wink, you 'n all the rest'a the young ones here.

[ablazement]

[wehhh, he calls her a good woman and there's this little pleased look that crosses her face. who doesn't like being called a good person, really, but it seems like maybe it hits a little more with her.]

Thanks, man. [genuinely, a little softer. and then:] I worry about the kids, honestly. Most of 'em seem pretty rough and tumble, but still. They're little, they shouldn't be going through all of this.

[shirtbag]

[ boothill sobers immediately. she's saying what's been on his mind exactly. he shakes his head. ]

A damn shame. What kinda forked up muddle-fudger you hafta be, bringin' in youngin's like that, feedin' em slop and throwin' them to the leeches?

[ he takes off his hat, pushes his hand in his hair, and gives it a shake. he lowers his voice as if they aren't the only two in the room. ]

This "monster" stuff... How much you believe in it?

[ablazement]

[it's a serious enough topic that she doesn't even laugh at forked up muddle-fudger even though that is, objectively, the funniest string of words. instead, she sighs, and tilts her head back.]

No joke. But I guess if you're a world ending cultist, you don't give a shit how old they are.

[...]

... I believe it as much as anything else here. Enough that I'm not willing to risk tying my fate up in someone else. What about you?

[shirtbag]

[ without hesitation: ]

Just the same as you. In all my time travelin' across the stars, I've been a lone cowboy. That means I take full responsibility for my own decisions. I ain't about to change that now, no matter what them rewards are.

[ he glances back up at karlach. ]

[ablazement]

[man. a pause, and then:]

You know, I respect the hell out of you, Boothill. [genuinely.] You're a good guy. I really think that.

[she's seeing all this stuff, like the profiles or whatever the words on him mean, and she thinks that maybe that should be something that's meant to frame him in a bad light, but. he doesn't want kids to get hurt, and he doesn't want someone to die because of him. that's something, to her.]

[shirtbag]

[ boothill gives her a wide and warm smile, lets it sit for a moment. ]

Big ole sweetheart, you.

[ if she lets him, he lightly pats her back. ]

Show me 'round here. God forbid y'all got any a' those leech blankets.

[ablazement]

[her tail wags behind her just a little when he smiles at her! and she absolutely lets him pat her back, because she loves little physical affirmations like that and it's obvious.

she's very, very warm. he can probably feel how warm she is through even the leather.]

Hah, not anymore. I made Karma clean 'em all up. [huff.] But sure, alright.

[she does a big sweeping motion at the mortuary.]

Welcome to my humble home, I guess is what we're calling it. We've got a creepy basement! We've got velvet blankets, for some reason!

[gestures to the big karlach sized coffin,]

And, apparently, custom made coffins! Not concerning at all.

[shirtbag]

[ SHE IS INDEED VERY VERY WARM.... he noticed this before help. one pat is all it takes huh.

looks at the coffin. looks at her. looks at the coffin. squints at her like she's text that's very hard to see. ]

What in the forkin' fudgin' heck...?

[ LOOKS AT THE COFFIN ]

Those forkin' goat muddle-fudgers just messin' with us now! Out there yukkin' it up from wherever! Each and every one of 'em's gettin' a lead headache to take with 'em straight to the fiery depths, I'll tell you what! [ yosemite sam cartoon fuming ]

[ablazement]

[sometimes you are just a furnace that is dog friend shaped

this, unfortunately, makes her giggle a little. she tries not to, biting her lip, but something slips out.]

Ooh, they are definitely out there yukkin' it up!

A lot of things here seem to be meant to try and freak us out. [she nudges the coffin with her foot.] Like the text on everybody, or the danger book that screams at you in a language you can't understand.

[shirtbag]

[ miss karlach you are SOOO CUTE

he had other things to say but ]

Danger book?

[ablazement]

Huh? Oh - yeah, you know, the Bible?

[she says this like eddie izzard. bib-lee. they don't have bibles in faerun i'm sorry]

It apparently screams real aggressively at you until you put it back.

HELP NOT THE BIBBLY

[shirtbag]

Muddle-fudger! That's what happens? [ HE WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE ] How's it always forkin' gone then?

[ablazement]

[that was the funniest sequence of edits i've ever gotten thank you]

Because people can't help themselves! We've got like six wizards who just want to put their face in the screaming book!

[shirtbag]

[ YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES TAKING THE BIBLE I'M YELLINGGG ]

Forkin' hell. They still try ta' read that even when it's screamin' at ya?

[ablazement]

[GAZES LOUDLY]

That has never stopped Gale before. He's so horny for magic.

[shirtbag]

[ SDKFDKLF

snorts. laughs. ]

He what now?

[ablazement]

I'm surprised you haven't heard, he likes to brag about it. We've got Gods and Goddesses, right? I think that's a weird thing in other places, but we do. And he was macking on the Goddess of Magic before I met him.

[shirtbag]

Mackin' on? [ GALE? HELLO ] Y'mean he was twitter-pated? What'd she think 'bout it?

[ablazement]

[karlach out here just spreading gale's dirty laundry i'm sorry alli]

She was into it! Apparently! They -- [whispers:] fucked, apparently!

[shirtbag]

[ whistles! ]

Have mercy. Ain't a lot of people what can say they forked a goddess. Must say, I'm impressed.

[ablazement]

Yeah. On the one hand, I'm sort of curious.

On the other, she's horrible. You can't trust a God to treat you like a person, you know? Gale's just a bug to her. And I won't stand for that.

[shirtbag]

Ya tried talkin' to 'em about it?

[ablazement]

Who, Gale? More times than I can count. You can't trust a wizard to make the right decision about their own damn wellbeing.

[shirtbag]

[ poor karlach :') and gale ]

S'how you know you give a damn 'bout someone, huh? Frustratin' to no end. Sounds like he's got some learnin' to do on his own.