shirtbag | SCAWWY ⇢ KARLACH (FLURRY)

[HELP SHE JUST LAUGHS AT THIS ONE at least she's not yassified this time]

-- Oh, this is like the circus! [cackling, as she also almost falls over with him]

Wait, is it actually there? It took forever to get off before. [looks at him in the mirror] Oh, no, I can't abide by the nose, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

[ IS IT THERE. he's ready to look at her face again to make sure they don't need to long rest right there in delululemon, but— ]

Now hang on just a second there, partner!

[ grabs her waist and locks her in!!! ]

You ain't gonna leave me in the dust 'cause you don't like my nose!

[it's not actually there it's just in the mirror, though imagine they did just have to immediately long rest in the delululemon]

I just can't do it! [she says dramatically, clearly kidding as she puts the back of her hand to her forehead. her tail wraps around his ankle.] It's so tragic. I've got to leave you because of clown nonsense, always knew it would end this way...

Always knew you were gonna leave me 'cause of clowns?! Why you little...

[ kisses her neck over and over and TICKLES HER ]

[SQUEAKS]

Aaaah, Boots -- ! [she is SO ticklish which is why she probably knocks them both over for real squirming away from his hands, wheeeee timber

and then there's an au memshare world of the hells...

except it's all bright, neon colors and plastics, like a mcdonald's playplace. a portal opens, and two figures stagger out of it and into the horrible deep fryer heat of avernus. karlach, with clown makeup and a polka-dot dress, and boothill, in a rainbow wig and enormous clown shoes with spurs on the back.

"It worked... my engine's calmed down," clownlach says, exhaling. "Ah, soldier, I shouldn't have let you come here with me. Zariel's not going to let up."

boothonk just cocks his gun, looking out at the hoard of imps that approach. a tiny car revs as hits a ramp and takes off into the sky, unleashing hundreds of the imps from inside it. their screams carry across the whimsical scenery. clownlach grimaces.

"But together we'll end this war, isn't that right?" she says, as heroic music builds up in the background. boothonk agrees, letting out a series of squeaky sounds, and clownlach is so overwhelmed with affection that she grabs him and dips him into a very dramatic kiss.

a pause. real karlach, on the floor, just goes:]

What!

[ WAAAAH falling doesn't stop him, he just grabs her from behind, pulls her in, and keeps kissing her neck.

UNTIL THEY GET TRANSPORTED TO CLOWN HELL. THEN HE IS LIKE. ???? ]

What in blue forkin' blazes did I just see?! What the— Why I ain't speakin' in words?!

[ THIS IS THE WORST EFFECT EVER SAVE THEM ]

[she's like wheezing she's laughing so hard at this, mostly because he's so baffled by it.]

Like a little squeaky dog toy! Why was the hells clown vomit! [ABSOLUTELY BONKERS] Gods, like this place couldn't get any weirder.

[ CLOWN VOMIT HELP

unfortunately this might take this thread in another direction but he has to ask: ]

That was the hells?

[she makes a face.]

Well, it's not normally so bright. But - yeah, that's it.

Don't know why I thought it might not be so literal. Nope... Looks like the real thing.

[ Hell. ]

Probably be worse with all the bright forkin' clown nonsense.

Oh, yeah, it's - fire and brimstone, horrible horned dickheads crawling out of the dirt to kill you, all that. Very honest.

[bleh. they are just on the floor she's given up on standing up in the delululemon]

I think the clown nonsense makes it more terrifying, actually! Someone ought to pitch that to Zariel. Not me. Someone else.

[ he has no problem with this! his hat is lying somewhere around here, but he's happy just spooning on the floor. sorry everyone else. ]

Fudge. That Zariel forker ain't met her maker just yet?

[she wrinkles her nose, sprawled out.]

No, but I'd figure it won't happen anytime soon. She's an archduke of the Hells, it'd take some serious firepower.

[ props himself up on his arm. ]

You think a tall red lady tough as nails and a cyborg cowboy ain't enough to take her out?

[peers up at him...]

Might be, but. [she sounds unsure.] I don't want anything to happen to you.

[ cute... kisses her cheek. ]

I'd move heaven and earth for ya' if you wanted. If you don't wanna bother, ain't no problem with that neither.

[tilts her face right up into the kiss.]

Honestly, soldier, she hasn't got anything on me anymore. No heart, no deal, no nothing. She can rot in the Hells while I'm out with you in the sun. That's heaven on earth, yeah? That's what I want.

[a little smile.]

I did revenge already. It didn't feel good for me, even though it really should've.

[ heaven on earth. he grins back. ]

Anythin' you want, darlin'.

[ that next part makes him pause... he lowers his arm and lies down next to her. REALIZES WE NEVER DID THIS MEMSHARE ]

Revenge? On who?

[she takes his hand and holds it when he lays down, with a hum. kisses his fingers for good measure.

ALSO YEAH I ALSO JUST REMEMBERED HELP well, she's going to answer, but it just happens as fog instead, and this time there are no clowns or anything. it's just... real.]

[ if it wasn't zariel, it had to be gortash. he remembers the name only because aerith had told him who he was—the name of the bastard who sold her off, who deserved to be suffering and rotting. boothill thinks it in the moments just before the fog swallows them both up.

he feels every emotion, hears every thought. that roaring engine sounds in his own body, clicking and moving, revving as karlach's emotions fire almost out of control. fury claws out of her throat with every word. the worst part is the aching loneliness and having no one around you who can understand it. there's no salve for having a bomb inside you that you never asked for. not even revenge could cure that.

when it is, boothill is left staring, mouth parted open, his head tipped towards the floor to look at her. the hurt lies in his stomach like a hot stone, slow to cool or fade out.

he reaches for her cheek, to make her look at him. wordlessly, he wants to see if she's okay. ]

[she drags in a slow, steadying breath when they come out of it.

she looks up at him when he asks, and gives him a smile. it's small, and it's tired, but. she seems okay. she's had time to deal with it, to start to mend the parts of her that were broken from it. her heart is fixed, and she's not alone. that's a start.]

Well, at least it was that one and not the one where my heart got ripped out. [she says, wryly.]

[ he lowers his forehead on hers and closes his eyes. ]

So much for givin' you that break.

[ he murmurs. he hates this place so much for all it puts her through. ]

So it was Gortash. And it didn't help you none.

As far as bad shit happening goes, that's pretty tame. [she tells him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.]

But, yeah. It was him. That's the last thing I remember before waking up here. [...] I don't regret killing him. Had to be done. It just didn't fix anything at the time.

Situation's changed now, though. You're free from all that. Better that he's dead too, I think. Can't go hurtin' anyone else.

[ ...

he brings her hand in and kisses her fingers. as he runs his thumb over her knuckle, over and over: ]

You know I got my vengeance that I gotta follow through on.

[ he's quietly asking if she still agrees with it. ]

That's my thought exactly. He was going to fuck over so many people - it's good he's dead. There wasn't any saving the bastard.

[she shifts, watching him do this, relaxed and easy. and his quiet unasked question gets a tilt of her head.]

Yeah? Of course? [without hesitation.] I'm going with you on that one, right? Thought that was implied.

[revenge didn't work for her, but that doesn't mean it's not something worth doing in the right circumstances.]

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