it's okay, she likes the metal one still, this is fine. he settles in with her without hesitation, and she wraps her arms around him without any issue at all, clinging. there's a sense of comfort that comes with it. he has her, she's safe. she believes it. gratitude follows, mingling with his concern and care, the tension and fear and upset fading slightly as he kisses her forehead.
karlach takes a moment to wrap the blanket snugly around the two of them, and lets those words sink in.
it takes a while for her to say anything else, but when she does, she sounds a little more lucid. the soup brain is less present, which is why she can manage:]
... Thank you. For saving me twice. [from the fish tank and the cemetery, she means.]
[ with the blanket snug around them and their limbs still locked, boothill lies there in silence with her, allowing space for her to cry or speak or fall asleep. his hand runs over her back in soothing strokes, and he presses more kisses over her forehead, her damp cheeks, her closed eyelids.
the brain soup is now less soupy... he can hear in her voice that her mind's a little more clear. that's good.
he pauses after her thanks. then, quietly: ]
Just a magnet for trouble, ain't ya?
[ teasing a little, but it quickly dies away. he tightens his hold around her a little bit. the emotions are fear, guilt, sorrow, and worry. ]
I didn't save ya' from nothin'. ...Not like this place would let me even if I tried.
[a little snort, at that. also, ow, because the snort hurts her head, but like. yeah, he's not wrong. she is a trouble magnet. maybe she will just take some time to be Less of that for a while, because this has been a trying week.
he tightens his hold, and she takes his hand and brings it to her lips, trying to ease a little bit of those emotions.]
Daan said you stopped me from drowning, so - let me say it. [she says, soft.] And let me say sorry. For scaring you.
[ wow who would app a character to a murdergame just to have them be Troubled all the time by people they love... (me, please kill her as many times as you want)
he slowly bumps his forehead onto hers and looks at her intently. ]
I ain't worried for me. Do you know how much hell you went through in one day?
[it takes a minute for her to sort through it, to figure out what even happened. her brain is less scrambled, but.]
I thought I grew up where I was. [she says, finally.] I thought I was someone made to kill demons, but they weren't demons. I think they were just people.
[she shivers - and then settles into a consistent tremble, pressing her face against his chest. there's sweat, where he's stroking her hair back.]
Had me on drugs that warped my mind, made me see shit that wasn't there.
[ his heart breaks he holds her tighter, presses her to the front of his padded jacket. this one is long-sleeved, meant to make him softer and easier to hold her with.
this sounds familiar. he'd seen a memory from that person's mind—watched and felt them be drugged from behind their eyes. he was human in that moment also, feeling it rush through his body, changing him, making him sweat. ]
Just like bein' infected by that monster. It fed on all that guilt you have.
[ he kisses her forehead and leans down to kiss her cheek. there's a flare of frustration and hatred for this terrible town. ]
[she takes those kisses easily. there's little pings of comfort that she feels, each time he does. he knows how much, how well, she responds to touch, after years and years of being unable to, and after being brainwashed and shoved into a murder society, being told to kill and not really having a choice - being in this bed with him is like sanctuary.
the padding of his jacket and the solidness of his arms grounds her, and even though she's going through some truly heinous withdrawal symptoms, she's feeling better than she was.
silence, for a moment. then:]
Yeah. Just really drilling in how awful I feel about Rondo. [...] The hotel was fucked, too. Not... not as much, but -- shit, I really need to sort this out with him.
[ they'll both have to weather through those symptoms as they come. boothill won't be leaving her side unless absolutely necessary, to fetch her food or water or any supplies. daan or nehan will be on speed dial to help.
boothill also makes a mental note to contact lucas. he might have some idea of how to mitigate these things.
he runs his hand up down karlach's back. ]
You can talk to 'im later. [ except cyoa happens so much ] You can tell me about the hotel, but only if you want.
[lucas has been helping her pretty steadily through it, and she's grateful. it's nice, to have such a stable support system here.
she's shivering, but trying to ignore it mostly as she talks.]
Just the same old. I had the chance to save Rondo and I couldn't manage. Hotel tried to make me pick between me, Rondo and Daan, and I just didn't.
Saw you, like how you were Wednesday. Like it was taunting me. [with his human body.] I'm sick of you being used against me, it's fucking rude, is what it is.
[ boothill wishes he could grasp her, wrap her in warmth to keep those shivers at bay. all he can do now is stroke her hair and comfort her in blips through small and meaningful kisses on her skin.
his human body. his voice goes low, gravely. ]
When I get my hands on these cult rats, they ain't gonna see the light of day. We'll make their lives a livin' nightmare.
[ he rests his cheek on her head. ]
Did near the same thing to me. I ain't ever gonna forgive them for makin' you go through that twofold.
[there's a little roll of thunderous fury that goes through her at the mention of the cultists, and approval, too. she exhales slow, relaxing into those little kisses.]
Yeah. I saw a bit of where I showed up. [she says, closing her eyes.] Lucas accidentally showed me when you all went.
[a pause. a bit growly:]
But I'm all for that, with the cult. I don't even need a weapon, just let me in there with my bare fucking hands. Me and you, like we said.
[ that hurts him, the idea of karlach seeing herself hanging, boothill holding her and nearly giving up the ghost right then. it was so much like his transformation on that operating table—his physical form melting away, the nigh irresistible urge to fall into a deep, unending sleep. he would have as long as her arms were back around his neck. ]
Bare hands for the both of us. Just like we said. Let's tear 'em apart.
[ that was weeks ago. it was one of the first promises they made. ]
I am sorry you had to see that. Lucas showed me what he went through too, so I got some idea of what bein' drugged up that way might've been like. I can't imagine livin' like that for more than a second.
[ he kisses her head. ]
My girl. I just want you catchin' some kinda break.
[she shifts so that she can hug him a little more tightly, arms wrapped around him as best she can manage. she did not like seeing him bleed or get absolutely destroyed by pyramid head, but he's here. and her eyes are closed, so she can't hallucinate his corpse. take that, cyoa side effects.]
You're not going to like to hear it, but I've been through worse. [a little shiver of sad, that settles back into something reassuring.] Thanks - thank you, though, I'd like a break too.
[said with a laugh, a bit wheezy.]
You stay with me, love, and I'll make it. Promise. [and there's a flicker of emotion that's more than just affection - something deeper, something more.]
[she murmurs in agreement. and - he kisses her, and something in her squirms because she knows she's all gross and full of chills and he's still being so affectionate with her. it makes her feel better.
for a moment the words she wants to say crawl up her throat and almost make it out of her mouth, but she's a little too rubbed raw emotionally to deal with it if it somehow goes wrong, so instead she just kisses him back, until she's too dizzy to keep doing it.
and then, weakly amused:]
S'a good thing whatever this is isn't contagious, you silly thing. [...] Wish you could sleep. Think you could use a nap.
[ even her weak kisses bring little sparks of happiness. he smiles. ]
I got a sleep mode. It just ain't easy to wake myself up. Might need your help in that case, if you ain't still feelin' this way when you wake up. You're shiverin' all over...
[ a feeling catches in his throat. he was ready to say it—he just needed to kiss her first, because that feeling was overwhelming. ]
Too much could go wrong in a place like this. I don't wanna take no chances with you anymore.
[ he rests his hand on her cheek, his smile ebbing away naturally, and presses his forehead to hers. his thumb strokes over her tear-stained cheek. those warm words bubble up his throat, form in his teeth and on his tongue, work past his lips and into being. ]
[she promises, warm. it's so amazing to her, to not feel like she has to be strong without fail. she wants to protect him too, she wants to look out for him, but the fact that he insists on taking care of her makes her feel like crying, in a good way. being safe, after the hells, after zariel, after everything she's experienced over the last few hours, means more to her than anything else.
he rests his hand on her cheek, and she eases her too-warm forehead against his, and then he just upends all of her restraint with four words. a beat, and the floodgates open, relief and that deeper, sweeter emotion just lets itself shape into love, bright like sunshine. intense, shiny, big.
she hiccups out a laugh, and then:]
Oh, gods, I'm glad it's not just -- I love you. I love you, too, Boots.
[she can't possibly get any closer to him, but she tries, resting her hand on top of the one settled on her cheek.]
[ all in one day, he had dragged karlach's floating, lifeless, bleeding body from a fishtank and pulled her from the cemetery into his arms. again, he remembered all of the terror of loving someone unconditionally, of opening yourself to excruciating pain. it was almost enough to have him close himself off again, reaffirming his vow to The Hunt; he made his sacrifice knowing he would never be able to turn back. he shouldn't want to change it now.
but the floodgates open and he's drawn up completely in its current. he's felt a lot of others' emotions this week, but they're nothing compared to what karlach gives him now. no feeling would ever be like this one—bright, all-encompassing, beautiful.
he can stop fighting back that he feels the same way. boothill opens himself to the pain and pure joy of loving someone else again, and that same sunshine feeling floods out of him, growing irresistibly as if it could outpace hers. he swipes his thumb over her cheek, bends her waist towards him, and tilts his head to press his lips back over hers. the kisses are slow and warm, deep enough to ache against boothill's teeth, but he doesn't care. ]
I love you so much, I don't know what to do with it.
[ he murmurs, brushing their noses. he furrows his brows. there's a bit of heartache. ]
I want you lookin' out for yourself so you can come back home to me. All right?
[she soaks those emotions in, feels them so intensely - he pulls her close and kisses her like he means it, and she sighs a shivery sound into his mouth as she leans up to meet him. kisses him to match, slow and deep, until she can't really breathe and then past that, until she's lightheaded.
karlach tangles their legs together, not bothering to keep track of which limbs belong to who. she's got so much love to give that it almost hurts, so she lets herself feel it, lets it mingle with his, twines her joy in his. and along with that - she takes the fear, the possibility of pain, and gives him reassurance in return. comfort, and a little resolve. it's been hard, the past ten years, to care at all about what happened to her. the worst that could happen was that she'd die, and even that wouldn't stick. zariel would never allow that. it's a learned habit to put herself up front to take the damage, because she was invincible and because nobody would miss her if she was gone.
but boothill would. so many people would, now, but she knows - if something happens to her, it'd just be proof to shut off and away. so she won't. instead, karlach takes his hand, and brings it up to her neck. presses his fingertips against her pulse, letting him feel the steady thud-thud-thud of her heartbeat. her real heartbeat.]
Yeah. Yeah, of course. [she says, soft.] I'll always come back to you.
[that's a promise.]
You hold a little of my love and I'll hold a little of yours. That's what you do with it. Here, where it's easiest. [taps his chest, over his heart, with her free hand.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
it's okay, she likes the metal one still, this is fine. he settles in with her without hesitation, and she wraps her arms around him without any issue at all, clinging. there's a sense of comfort that comes with it. he has her, she's safe. she believes it. gratitude follows, mingling with his concern and care, the tension and fear and upset fading slightly as he kisses her forehead.
karlach takes a moment to wrap the blanket snugly around the two of them, and lets those words sink in.
it takes a while for her to say anything else, but when she does, she sounds a little more lucid. the soup brain is less present, which is why she can manage:]
... Thank you. For saving me twice. [from the fish tank and the cemetery, she means.]
no subject
the brain soup is now less soupy... he can hear in her voice that her mind's a little more clear. that's good.
he pauses after her thanks. then, quietly: ]
Just a magnet for trouble, ain't ya?
[ teasing a little, but it quickly dies away. he tightens his hold around her a little bit. the emotions are fear, guilt, sorrow, and worry. ]
I didn't save ya' from nothin'. ...Not like this place would let me even if I tried.
no subject
he tightens his hold, and she takes his hand and brings it to her lips, trying to ease a little bit of those emotions.]
Daan said you stopped me from drowning, so - let me say it. [she says, soft.] And let me say sorry. For scaring you.
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he slowly bumps his forehead onto hers and looks at her intently. ]
I ain't worried for me. Do you know how much hell you went through in one day?
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a pause, and then a hiccup of a laugh.]
Not ten years worth, but enough. [she hides her face again.] This place really - it's really got its claws in what upsets me.
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Tell me about it. I'm listenin'.
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I thought I grew up where I was. [she says, finally.] I thought I was someone made to kill demons, but they weren't demons. I think they were just people.
[she shivers - and then settles into a consistent tremble, pressing her face against his chest. there's sweat, where he's stroking her hair back.]
Had me on drugs that warped my mind, made me see shit that wasn't there.
no subject
this sounds familiar. he'd seen a memory from that person's mind—watched and felt them be drugged from behind their eyes. he was human in that moment also, feeling it rush through his body, changing him, making him sweat. ]
Just like bein' infected by that monster. It fed on all that guilt you have.
[ he kisses her forehead and leans down to kiss her cheek. there's a flare of frustration and hatred for this terrible town. ]
Just downright cruel. My poor girl.
no subject
the padding of his jacket and the solidness of his arms grounds her, and even though she's going through some truly heinous withdrawal symptoms, she's feeling better than she was.
silence, for a moment. then:]
Yeah. Just really drilling in how awful I feel about Rondo. [...] The hotel was fucked, too. Not... not as much, but -- shit, I really need to sort this out with him.
[not now, she's not getting up, but. sighs.]
no subject
boothill also makes a mental note to contact lucas. he might have some idea of how to mitigate these things.
he runs his hand up down karlach's back. ]
You can talk to 'im later. [ except cyoa happens so much ] You can tell me about the hotel, but only if you want.
no subject
she's shivering, but trying to ignore it mostly as she talks.]
Just the same old. I had the chance to save Rondo and I couldn't manage. Hotel tried to make me pick between me, Rondo and Daan, and I just didn't.
Saw you, like how you were Wednesday. Like it was taunting me. [with his human body.] I'm sick of you being used against me, it's fucking rude, is what it is.
no subject
his human body. his voice goes low, gravely. ]
When I get my hands on these cult rats, they ain't gonna see the light of day. We'll make their lives a livin' nightmare.
[ he rests his cheek on her head. ]
Did near the same thing to me. I ain't ever gonna forgive them for makin' you go through that twofold.
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Yeah. I saw a bit of where I showed up. [she says, closing her eyes.] Lucas accidentally showed me when you all went.
[a pause. a bit growly:]
But I'm all for that, with the cult. I don't even need a weapon, just let me in there with my bare fucking hands. Me and you, like we said.
no subject
Bare hands for the both of us. Just like we said. Let's tear 'em apart.
[ that was weeks ago. it was one of the first promises they made. ]
I am sorry you had to see that. Lucas showed me what he went through too, so I got some idea of what bein' drugged up that way might've been like. I can't imagine livin' like that for more than a second.
[ he kisses her head. ]
My girl. I just want you catchin' some kinda break.
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You're not going to like to hear it, but I've been through worse. [a little shiver of sad, that settles back into something reassuring.] Thanks - thank you, though, I'd like a break too.
[said with a laugh, a bit wheezy.]
You stay with me, love, and I'll make it. Promise. [and there's a flicker of emotion that's more than just affection - something deeper, something more.]
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that pulse of deep feeling resonates with his. he returns it even more strongly. ]
I'm stayin' with you till the end of everythin'. And I ain't just talkin' about this cult nonsense.
[ he lifts her chin, and whether or not she opens her eyes for him, he tilts his head to take one, two slow and deep kisses. ]
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[she murmurs in agreement. and - he kisses her, and something in her squirms because she knows she's all gross and full of chills and he's still being so affectionate with her. it makes her feel better.
for a moment the words she wants to say crawl up her throat and almost make it out of her mouth, but she's a little too rubbed raw emotionally to deal with it if it somehow goes wrong, so instead she just kisses him back, until she's too dizzy to keep doing it.
and then, weakly amused:]
S'a good thing whatever this is isn't contagious, you silly thing. [...] Wish you could sleep. Think you could use a nap.
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I got a sleep mode. It just ain't easy to wake myself up. Might need your help in that case, if you ain't still feelin' this way when you wake up. You're shiverin' all over...
[ a feeling catches in his throat. he was ready to say it—he just needed to kiss her first, because that feeling was overwhelming. ]
Too much could go wrong in a place like this. I don't wanna take no chances with you anymore.
[ he rests his hand on her cheek, his smile ebbing away naturally, and presses his forehead to hers. his thumb strokes over her tear-stained cheek. those warm words bubble up his throat, form in his teeth and on his tongue, work past his lips and into being. ]
... I love you, Karlach.
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[she promises, warm. it's so amazing to her, to not feel like she has to be strong without fail. she wants to protect him too, she wants to look out for him, but the fact that he insists on taking care of her makes her feel like crying, in a good way. being safe, after the hells, after zariel, after everything she's experienced over the last few hours, means more to her than anything else.
he rests his hand on her cheek, and she eases her too-warm forehead against his, and then he just upends all of her restraint with four words. a beat, and the floodgates open, relief and that deeper, sweeter emotion just lets itself shape into love, bright like sunshine. intense, shiny, big.
she hiccups out a laugh, and then:]
Oh, gods, I'm glad it's not just -- I love you. I love you, too, Boots.
[she can't possibly get any closer to him, but she tries, resting her hand on top of the one settled on her cheek.]
no subject
but the floodgates open and he's drawn up completely in its current. he's felt a lot of others' emotions this week, but they're nothing compared to what karlach gives him now. no feeling would ever be like this one—bright, all-encompassing, beautiful.
he can stop fighting back that he feels the same way. boothill opens himself to the pain and pure joy of loving someone else again, and that same sunshine feeling floods out of him, growing irresistibly as if it could outpace hers. he swipes his thumb over her cheek, bends her waist towards him, and tilts his head to press his lips back over hers. the kisses are slow and warm, deep enough to ache against boothill's teeth, but he doesn't care. ]
I love you so much, I don't know what to do with it.
[ he murmurs, brushing their noses. he furrows his brows. there's a bit of heartache. ]
I want you lookin' out for yourself so you can come back home to me. All right?
no subject
karlach tangles their legs together, not bothering to keep track of which limbs belong to who. she's got so much love to give that it almost hurts, so she lets herself feel it, lets it mingle with his, twines her joy in his. and along with that - she takes the fear, the possibility of pain, and gives him reassurance in return. comfort, and a little resolve. it's been hard, the past ten years, to care at all about what happened to her. the worst that could happen was that she'd die, and even that wouldn't stick. zariel would never allow that. it's a learned habit to put herself up front to take the damage, because she was invincible and because nobody would miss her if she was gone.
but boothill would. so many people would, now, but she knows - if something happens to her, it'd just be proof to shut off and away. so she won't. instead, karlach takes his hand, and brings it up to her neck. presses his fingertips against her pulse, letting him feel the steady thud-thud-thud of her heartbeat. her real heartbeat.]
Yeah. Yeah, of course. [she says, soft.] I'll always come back to you.
[that's a promise.]
You hold a little of my love and I'll hold a little of yours. That's what you do with it. Here, where it's easiest. [taps his chest, over his heart, with her free hand.]