SCAWWY ⇢ ASTARION (BECCI)

[shirtbag]

for the prince charming from shrek ii expy (i love him)

Comments

[haematocritical]

[ hehe ]

Yes, well luckily for you she’s been effervescent with her praise of you. [ among other things but he doesn’t need to know that ]

[shirtbag]

[ HE DOESN'T BUT I DO, ME, NAT ]

Talked about me that much, did she?

[ rubs the back of his neck... even though he doesn't need to... ]

[haematocritical]

[ haha ]

I asked her, she told me. Perhaps she was cutting me off at the pass, before I really did take a swing.

[shirtbag]

... What d'you mean?

[haematocritical]

I asked if you were treating her well. Before I knew if I had to punch you.

[ what did he think he was talking about?? ]

[shirtbag]

[ nothing this is my reading comprehension failing me as usual ]

I owe her one then. ...Gotta wonder, though. Sure you wouldn't bust up your hand if you tried?

[haematocritical]

Are you saying your face is metal too?

[ besides ]

Either way, I do have a rather pointy knife.

[shirtbag]

I got metal plating on my scalp, but... guess my face really is free game. Not that you're ever gonna need to know that. No sir.

[ oh boy. also he knows all about that knife. more than he wants to know! thank god emotionshare isn't real anymore. he just sidesteps that subject. ]

How long you all known each other anyhow?

[haematocritical]

[ i appreciate him being appropriately nervous about this 8 str twink with a knife. thank you hill of the boot. ]

… Hmm. Good question. A couple of months plus the time here?

[shirtbag]

[ he is remembering how he knifed karlach... that memory is what he's afraid of most of all... kicks this sad meta out of the way ]

Holy shirtballs. Only that long?

[haematocritical]

[ sorry for your trauma, boothill. but he gave your your wife. ]

Surprising how running around trying to extract tadpoles from your brain and prevent yourselves from turning into tentacled monstrosities can bond people.

[shirtbag]

What in blue blazes?

[ HELLO??? ]

Tadpoles?! Y'mean parasites?

[haematocritical]

[ oops ]

Well. Yes, but ours are dormant.

[shirtbag]

[ ???????? ]

So you've still got it in ya'? All three of ya'?

[haematocritical]

[ haha, well. ]

I do. The others may not but perhaps don’t start pressing her about it so soon after her sorting out her engine.

[ he is absolutely lying they all have the tadpoles ]

[shirtbag]

[ HELP ASTARION yeah karlach has been through enough lately and he knows that, but if she was keeping this hidden from him, they'll have to talk about that someday... ]

What the fork happened to ya'?

[haematocritical]

[ he is excellent at gaslight gatekeep girlbossing ]

Mindflayers happened to us.

[shirtbag]

The heck are those?

[haematocritical]

Tentacled nightmares.

[shirtbag]

But what do they do? How'd they even get that in y'all? And how do ya' get 'em out?

Fudge. As if the engine weren't bad enough...

[haematocritical]

They don’t reproduce normally. They implant mindflayer tadpoles into hosts, and the hosts undergo ceremorphosis into Mindflayers.

We did not. For a number of reasons.

[shirtbag]

Cere-what now?

[ no education sorry ]

[haematocritical]

Transformation, I suppose.

[shirtbag]

I gotcha.

[ shakes his head. ]

Why'd you keep 'em? Ain't they gonna wake up someday?

[haematocritical]

Normally you don’t get the chance to remove them. They transform you very quickly. Ours are complicated — and that’s how we all met. Trying to find a cure.